Relationship Archetype
Monogamish Non-Conformist
Monogamy, but you make it your own.
You want the groundedness of a monogamous relationship without necessarily buying into every traditional rule that comes with it. You're open to questioning expectations, redefining agreements, and perhaps making room for some sexual exploration. You put the ish in monogamish.
What this might look like
- You value having one romantic partnership, but don't necessarily believe “commitment” requires complete sexual exclusivity.
- You might be comfortable with experiences like threesomes, occasional hookups, or sexual exploration together, provided your relationship agreements remain prioritized.
- You like the idea of playing outside the lines of traditional monogamy, but you want your partner alongside you while you do it.
- You may enjoy the feeling of security you find inside of a mostly monogamous relationship, while occasionally making room for experiences that fall outside conventional monogamy.
Your relational superpower
Monogamy doesn’t mean monotony, and you’ve figured out how to hack the traditional model in a way that works for you and your partner. You know how to balance groundedness and curiosity.
Questions worth exploring
- Which relationship rules do I genuinely want, and which ones have I accepted without questioning?
- What kinds of exploration feel exciting, and which would feel threatening to my sense of security?
The tension
Defining monogamy on your own terms can mean figuring out which boundaries you genuinely want and which you've inherited. You may crave romantic exclusivity while still wanting room for unconventional experiences. Finding that balance takes honest communication, trust, and intentional agreements.
Relationship styles that might work best for you
- Monogamish: A primarily monogamous relationship with mutually agreed-upon exceptions to sexual exclusivity.
- Open Relationship: A committed partnership where both people have permission to pursue sexual connections outside the relationship.
- Swinging: Consensual sexual experiences with others, often together with a partner.
Words of hope
You don't have to choose between traditional monogamy and full-blown polyamory. There is a whole lot of relational territory in between. You're allowed to build something that doesn't make sense to others, as long as everyone involved understands and consents to the agreements as they evolve.